Kids and parents of the 2000s will remember the cheesy infamy that is Robert Rodriguez's Spy Kids franchise. While many were less than interested in the kids' movies, others remember the films as joyous encounters in their childhoods. The strangeness of plots, star-studded cast, bizarre character arcs, and designs, and overtly-epic writing through Rodriguez's notorious low-budget filmmaking make for an enjoyably campy yet wholesome experience. The films were overall good-hearted and always left children with the importance of friends and family.
Between some of the nightmarish CGI, imaginative use of the green screen, and childish perspectives that bring nonsensical dreams and adventure to light, there's always a joke and a laugh to be had as well that will likely force audiences to wonder, "what the heck are we watching?"
10 "Hold On to Your Joysticks, Boys."
This goes without explanation. In Spy Kids 3, one of the supplementary characters refers to videogames as they traverse a virtual reality game landscape.
Aiding Juni on his adventure in trying to stop the Toymaker (Sylvester Stallone) from world domination and mind control, the kid states what adults know is innuendo and is any gamer's call to action.
9 "Camel Poop!"
The franchise's most memorable gross-out moments, Gertie and Gary Giggles are one of Juni and Carmen Cortez's leading opposition in Spy Kids 2. Thrown off the scent in pursuing the Cortez's, the Giggles' subterranean transport pod bring them to the Gobi Desert.
While trying to navigate, they fail to look ahead only to fall into a comically deep pile of... "Camel poop." It's not everyone's favorite, but there is a kind of kids' movie humor to the scene.
8 "Aw... Shiitake Mushrooms."
Carmen's most famous line to keep the films PG while sliding in a little reference to profanity that impressed children and annoyed parents.
The character says this in both the first Spy Kids and Spy Kids 2 whenever she's faced with an obstacle or is otherwise speechless. Unfortunately, she never repeats it in Spy Kids 3 or Spy Kids 4.
7 "My Parents Can't Be Spies--They're Not Cool Enough!"
Carmen is always one to be honest, even if it means being a bit of a brat. When Uncle Felix tries to reveal to the children that their parents are international spies before their house is broken in, Carmen, like many adolescents, just doesn't believe her parents are at all capable.
The moment was a laugh for both kids and parents, but namely the latter as parents can attest when kids grow to be over adults' rules, habits, and antics.
6 "You've Got Something On Your Lip."
After Gregorio Cortez, the patriarch of the Cortez's, helps Grandma (Ingrid's mother) down from a step, she states, "You've got something on your lip." Gregorio buys it, saying "What?" only for Grandma to rip off his fake mustache.
For anyone who isn't aware, Gregorio's mustache is an accessory of his and indicative of his alter ego as a secret agent, as well as a running gag throughout the franchise.
5 "Your Mother."
When Gregorio and Ingrid search for their children Juni and Carmen in Spy Kids 2, they hear noises in their sub's walls. They go quiet as Gregorio investigates and looks out the window. He screams, and his hairs stand up on end Sam-Raimi-style at the sight before him.
When Ingrid asks him what's wrong, he turns around and replies: "Your mother," as Ingrid's mother peaks through the window, pleased. Not everyone has a settling relationship with their in-laws.
4 "Do What I Showed You Last Night! ... Suplex!"
In the midst of the climax in Spy Kids 2, two competitive families watch as the fathers duke it out in an embarrassing fashion. The Cortez's yell fight moves to Gregorio, trying to get him to win against the opposition.
Ingrid yells out to Gregorio "Do what I showed you last night!" in front of her parents. The innuendo is hilarious and obvious, prompting Ingrid to try and cover it up by naming a fight move as everyone stops and stares at her. Nonetheless, this doesn't make Gregorio fight any better.
3 "I'm Not Your Uncle."
Gregorio's isn't the only fake mustache in the franchise. In Spy Kids, the parents have been taken hostage, and Juni and Carmen are in danger when thumb-thumbs break into their house. Their "Uncle Felix" tries to get the two into hiding, immediately revealing the Cortez's cover as they have hiding places and technology hidden about.
To try and convince the confused children to play along, Felix reveals to them that he's not even their real uncle when he tears off his mustache, to their shock.
2 "Do you think God lives in Heaven because He, too, lives in fear of what He's created Here on Earth?"
The most memed moment from the franchise, Steve Buscemi plays the brilliant scientist Romero who reflects on his failed test experiments after they trap him on the island.
He thinks aloud, reminiscing and stating the famous and unprecedentedly deep statement that has both humored and haunted many in its sincerity.
1 "Somebody Ring the Dinkster?"
This line delivered by Bill Paxton was absolutely ingenious. A random and hilarious line that matches the disorientingly cheesy climax of Spy Kids 3 as modern cowboy Dinky Winks flies into view to help save the day.
He follows up his proclamation of attendance by branding a giant rob0t with his name on its behind.
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February 28, 2021 at 04:30AM
