Stephanie Matto's relationship with Erika Owens on 90 Day Fiancé is full of red flags. Although the two women fell in love online, they've done nothing but argue since meeting in person for the first time in Erika's home country of Australia. While both women have some communication problems, Stephanie's controlling behavior is the real obstacle in their relationship.
Current stars of 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days, Stephanie and Erika met through Stephanie's successful YouTube presence. Erika was a fan of Stephanie's content and the two women developed a friendship after Erika reached out online. After chatting for a while, Stephanie confessed her romantic feelings to Erika, who reciprocated her emotions. The women started a relationship and Stephanie decided to make the trans-Pacific journey to meet her Australian girlfriend for the first time, despite her life-threatening health condition. Since arriving in Australia, however, Stephanie has done nothing but complain and nit-pick Erika's behavior. While Stephanie's YouTube presence is fun and flirty, her in-person behavior with her girlfriend is full of red flags.
First and foremost, Stephanie's disinterest in a physical relationship with her girlfriend is concerning. Stephanie claims that she was celibate for months before meeting up with Erika in person and therefore feels uncomfortable with physical intimacy. However, she struggles to even be affectionate with Erika. She seems uncomfortable holding hands and refuses to even cuddle, which suggests that there's something deeper holding her back from expanding her relationship with her girlfriend. Although Stephanie doesn't want to be physical with Erika herself, she also has some major jealousy issues regarding Erika's past relationships with other people. She continues to bring up the fact that Erika has previously "hooked up" with a few of her friends, which makes Stephanie uncomfortable. While her feelings are somewhat valid, Stephanie seems entirely uninterested in putting her faith in her girlfriend. Instead, she allows her jealousy to run free, feeling that she's justified in her mistrust of someone whom she supposedly loves.
Stephanie's discomfort with physical intimacy and jealousy issues are punctuated by her inability to compromise and her controlling behavior. Rather than allowing Erika to be her own person, Stephanie tends demand something and gets upset when Erika doesn't meet her standard. For example, Stephanie decided that Erika shouldn't have a dating app, even though Erika explained that she used the app for networking. Rather than reaching a decision that felt comfortable for both of them, Stephanie insisted that having the app on Erika's phone was inappropriate. Her uncompromising behavior was further illustrated during the boob-casting date Erika put together. Erika wanted to build some physical intimacy in their relationship, but Stephanie spent the whole date loudly talking about how uncomfortable she was. Nevermind that Erika planned a special date for her new girlfriend – Stephanie decided that she was uncomfortable and made the entire date awkward for everyone involved.
Perhaps the most concerning red flag in Stephanie's relationship with Erika, however, is Stephanie's total disregard for Erika's feelings and the privacy of their relationship. In nearly every interaction Stephanie has with Erika's friends, she continues to bring up the private issues of their relationship. Her lack of discretion clearly makes Erika uncomfortable, but Stephanie refuses to just let things go and try to bond with the people in Erika's life. In the most recent episode, Stephanie decided to confront Erika's friend in the middle of the party about their history of physical intimacy. It was her first time meeting Erika's friends and, rather than making a good impression, she chose to put the trust issues of her relationship on display for everyone to see. When Erika tries to confront these issues, Stephanie turns to emotional manipulation to get her way. She cries, storms away, and accuses Erika of making her the bad guy, which eliminates any possibility for a healthy conversation.
All in all, Stephanie is just one big red flag. She obviously believes that she's the more mature party in this relationship, probably due to her five-year age difference from Erika. Since she's decided that she's in the right, however, Stephanie refuses to acknowledge Erika's feelings. Instead, she continues to push forward her own agenda, ignoring her partner in the process. If the relationship continues like this, we doubt Erika and Stephanie will be together by the end of this season.
90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days airs on Sunday at 8pm EST on TLC.
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April 21, 2020 at 05:35AM
